North Korea just flexed on the entire world with a Bitcoin stash that would make Michael Saylor raise an eyebrow. 

Kim Jong-un's notorious Lazarus Group is now sitting on a mammoth 13,518 BTC worth $1.13 billion – more than actual countries like Bhutan and El Salvador combined.

And they didn't mine it or buy the dip – they just stole it.

The Bybit Bloodbath

That massive $1.4 billion Bybit hack from February is what really sent the hermit kingdom’s holdings over the top. 

This was far more than some amateur hour exploit – this was Ocean's Eleven-level coordination with state backing and unlimited resources.

After the hack, they swapped a massive chunk of stolen ETH into Bitcoin through THORChain, and it's now sitting idle in wallets, likely waiting to be sold at sky-high prices. 

The whole crypto world watched in real-time as on-chain detectives tried and failed to stop billions bouncing between wallets.

Kim Jong Coins

North Korea is now officially stacking more sats than Bhutan's 10,635 BTC and absolutely destroying El Salvador's “measly” 6,118 BTC.

Bhutan actually mines its Bitcoin legitimately – as any honorable nation should. 

El Salvador has been buying since making BTC legal tender back in 2021, but they look like small fries compared to NK's "steal-to-earn" operation.

This is the same crew that robbed Ronin Network for $615 million in 2022 and took DMM Bitcoin for $308 million in 2023 – they've got a better track record than most VCs, but a lot of more wanted posters with their faces on them. 

And they're just getting started.

The Next Move?

North Korea isn't buying Bitcoin because they believe in the digital gold thesis.

US officials claim nearly half their weapons programs run on stolen crypto – those ICBMs don't pay for themselves.

Lazarus is stacking more than Bitcoin, too – they've got a portfolio that includes ETH, BNB, DAI, and BUSD like they're actually working to diversify their portfolios (but really its just whatever they can get their hands on).

They're basically running the world's most successful illicit crypto fund, complete with a “we’ll take that, thank you very much” investment strategy.

The Global Headache

Despite countless sanctions and blockchain analytics firms tracking their every move, Lazarus keeps operating like they haven’t gotten the memo.

The US and allies are desperately sanctioning wallets while NK just opens new ones – it's like trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon.

Some drops might get caught, but most are getting through.

And crypto exchanges keep getting caught with their pants down despite years of warnings about these exact attacks.

In Bybits’ defense, this was one of the most sophisticated hacks we’ve ever seen and highlights the reality that oftentimes, the weakest link in any security apparatus is the people themselves – not the machines.

On-Chain Weapons

What we're seeing is the first real weaponization of crypto on a geopolitical scale.

For North Korea, Bitcoin is less about gains and lambos and more about serving as a sanctions-busting superweapon that funds missiles and keeps the regime afloat.

This is blockchain's dark side that doesn't make it into those pretty Web3 infographics with rainbow colors.

While we're arguing about gas fees and PFP collections, entire nations are using this tech to fund weapon systems.

A Regime Built to Last?

The higher Bitcoin goes, the more incentive there is to steal it –North Korea has created a parallel economy funded entirely by digital heists, like some sort of dystopian novel nobody wanted to read.

The battle between hackers and security forces will shape crypto's future more than any ETF approval or celebrity endorsement.

Rest assured that North Korean hackers are already eyeing the next billion-dollar prize while exchanges scrambling to brief their personnel on best practices.