Michael Saylor pitched the most galaxy-brain Bitcoin plan ever at the White House Crypto Summit.

The MicroStrategy founder wants Uncle Sam to scoop up between 5% and 25% of all Bitcoin over the next two decades.

That's a casual 1.05 to 5.25 million BTC – because owning half a million himself wasn't enough of a position.

The "$81 Trillion" Promise 

Saylor claims this little government shopping spree could generate between $16 trillion and $81 trillion by 2045.

That's enough to theoretically wipe out the national debt and basically make America great again through Bitcoin.

But Saylor's company would also benefit enormously from the resulting price pump such a purchase would trigger.

This is the equivalent of a whale telling other whales to buy while holding the biggest bag in the room.

Meanwhile, MicroStrategy announced plans to issue 5 million more shares to buy even more Bitcoin – could this be the most transparent attempt at price manipulation we've seen, or is Saylor genuinely trying to save America's financial future?

The Classification Game 

Saylor didn't stop at asking the government to buy Bitcoin – he also dropped his own crypto classification system.

He wants four neat little boxes: tokens for capital creation, tokens backed by securities, digital currencies, and Bitcoin for "capital preservation."

This is a transparent attempt to get Bitcoin its own special regulatory category away from the "security" label.

It's funny how his classification conveniently puts Bitcoin in its own protected category while leaving most altcoins to fend for themselves.

The strategy is clear: create a regulatory moat around Bitcoin while letting the SEC hammer everything else.

Financial Stability Questions 

MicroStrategy is already sitting on nearly 500,000 BTC with significant debt obligations to match.

Some analysts are getting nervous about what happens if Bitcoin takes a nosedive and the company faces a margin call situation.

Forced liquidation of even part of their stack could send the entire market into a death spiral, given the sheer size of Strategy’s holdings. 

Just remember that this is the same company that's gone all-in on a single-asset strategy harder than any public company in history.

The XRP Army Is Not Impressed 

The XRP community is calling BS on Saylor's entire proposal faster than Ripple can file a legal brief.

Pro-XRP lawyer John Deaton straight-up called the plan what it looks like – a self-enrichment scheme disguised as patriotism.

They're pointing out that Saylor stands to become one of the richest men in the world if his government-buying proposal succeeds.

The hostility makes sense when you remember that Saylor has consistently dismissed XRP while pumping Bitcoin as the only legitimate crypto.

A Legal Reality Check 

There is just one small problem with Saylor's master plan – it would need actual Congressional approval.

Last time we checked, getting Congress to agree on crypto policy is a very tall order, and it doesn’t seem to be getting any easier with time. 

Some Bitcoin maxis are apparently exploring executive order options, which is peak desperation in the regulatory game.

The chances of the US government allocating hundreds of billions to Bitcoin purchases when they can't even fix bridges is somewhere between zero and minuscule. 

A Mammoth Bitcoin Reserve

Saylor's proposal is either the most brilliant long-term economic strategy or the most brazen pump attempt in crypto history.

Whether you see him as a visionary or a self-interested whale probably depends on how much Bitcoin you're holding.

One thing's for sure – the man knows how to generate headlines and keep Bitcoin in the national conversation.